Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
