Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
