Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
