Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I will pee on everything he values.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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