I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
