I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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