I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
