whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
