North Korea, Best Korea!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I intend to get homeless drunk
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
