just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Someone came in the potted fern
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
