? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
