just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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