I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
