if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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