Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
