Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
