whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
