You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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