Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
