carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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