We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
