a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
