he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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