If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
