I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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