I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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