now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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