So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
