The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
