he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
