You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
