I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
