thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize