if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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