i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
