filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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