I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
