everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize