Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize