Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize