Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
