And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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