Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
