Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
