??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
