she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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