But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
