I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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