If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
