Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just fell off a train. Bad.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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