I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
50% drunk capacity currently
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
