And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
