Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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