remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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