I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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