did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
