Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
splinters make it hard to masturbate
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
