Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
