im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
