You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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