from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
