I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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