These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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