I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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