All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
