What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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