is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
