If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
