why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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