I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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