i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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