I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
