everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
