i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
